positively.board

It’s all about the last card, isn’t it? Who cares about the rest, gimme that glittery Enchanted or gimme nothing at all…

All these Tiktoks and Insta reels have so many packs opened in fast-forward, until the very end, and that’s all we care about. The second last card is sometimes interesting, but man, I need to see that last card. I demand a legendary pull! And if it’s a disappointment, then the entire pack is forgotten about instantly, in favour of the next.

We’re all loving a bit of Ravensburger’s latest Disney Lorcana set, Attack Of The Vines, but are we taking the time to appreciate it? It’s not just a Lorcana problem, it’s all TCGs. But I’m into Lorcana, so screw you other guys.

Let’s switch things up. Let’s get value for money out of every pack we buy. We will take our time and record our feelings on every card drawn. This will definitely be a rewarding post that will change lives and influence people.

(This is a genuine pack, its contents photographed one by one, nothing switched or changed around. My luck with this Attack Of The Vines pack has not been awe-inspiring by a long stretch, and I write this part before the opening of this particular pack. Hey, I’ve just said don’t sweat the last card, let’s enjoy the entire journey. If we get to the end and you say ‘pah, that was a letdown’, then you’ve missed the point, my friend.)

Let’s do this!

We’ve Got A Lot To Do! – ‘Be Our Guest’ is the best Disney song. It is. The mere mention of the song title has already set you off singing it under your breath. Go on, I’ll join in: ‘…put our service to the test…’ This is a pretty card that does a good job of capturing the energy of the musical number, with the added twist of an evil vine punching its way through the scene. Thematically, this is good fun: what would happen if these nasty vines wound their way into all of these famous movies? I’m finally understanding the incredibly obvious premise of ‘Attack Of The Vines’. If I’d rushed through the pack, then I would have missed how this card ties in with the theme of the set. See? I’m already glad I slowed down. Fun fact that you probably already know: you can actually try the ‘grey stuff’ mentioned in the song if you head to Disneyland Paris and book into the right restaurant. Just make sure you’re packing plenty of Euros.

Miriam Mendelsohn: Ticket Holder – I don’t know who this is. I feel like I need to say sorry, like I’m not worthy of the Lorcana fandom. Let’s do a Google.

Apparently she’s from a Pixar movie called ‘Turning Red’. I haven’t even heard of it. We have a 4 year old granddaughter, which means we have Disney+ and have gone through most of the catalogue at some point, and I have no recollection of ever seeing anything about this film. I can feel the scorn pouring upon me.

As for the card itself? It’s not one I’d play personally as it doesn’t really give you an advantage. The artwork? A nice, jolly image. This person seems friendly and generous. They’re happy. I like it when people are happy. There you go.

Gaston: Created By The Vine – I hate Gaston. I know you’re meant to dislike him, but I think it’s supposed to be in a funny way and it doesn’t work for me and yet he’s got this cult following and a song that people apparently enjoy. Without irony, I think Gaston is a twat character, as lazy as any piece of writing in the entirety of Disney animation. I’ve got a few of these cards now. I might set one on fire while videoing the process.

The Bear: Territorial Animal – Grrr! Rarrrr! This image is fantastic. What a pose! I know this is The Bear from The Fox and The Hound, but I imagine an alternate reality where this is, in fact, Baloo from The Jungle Book turned sick. The only Bare Necessity this guy needs is your torn-off arm as a snack. Grrr!

You’ve Got Some Punch – Another card where I wouldn’t have noticed the blending of set theme and classic movie if I’d rushed through. In fact, I’ve just gone through the cards I’ve already got from this set, and this is the third copy of ‘You’ve Got Some Punch’ that I’ve pulled. Point proven. What is the point, that I pay absolutely no attention to anything? That I have not absorbed the fact that this collection is literally called Attack Of The Vines? Yes to both. The card itself is… fine. The vines have a bit of character to them, and this could actually be useful in play: it could turn a decent card into a powerful one and turn the tide. I should play Song cards more often…

Potato: Yes! Amazing! This card made me laugh so hard that it’s worrying. The thing I love about this and can’t stop thinking about is the fact that this card would be utterly useless in play. Whoever designed this deserves a pint of whatever they like. Potato can’t do anything. More of this type of shenanigans, please. Best part of this pack so far.

This is more work than I thought it would be. We’ll come back for a part 2 in a few days.

In the meanstwhile, head to the following affiliate link for your Lorcana goodness.