positively.board

Welcome back, fellow Slow Lorcanists!

It would be nice to think that I daintily placed the pack of Lorcana cards down on the table, and steadfastly refused to so much as touch them for an entire week before returning to this article (I mean, is this even worth calling an article? I’ll leave that up to you). I didn’t do that. Couldn’t, even if I had that ridiculous level of restraint. One of my cats would have made them vanish. Tonto would be my chief suspect: however, I occasionally wonder if doddery old Tipsy is fully aware of his rep, and likes to fit him up for crimes she has committed herself. Oh, I wonder…

  Anyhoo, let’s see what Team Disney has in store for this second half…

Hades: Meticulous Schemer – I’m quite taken by the theme of the card and the possible story that could come out of it: this is basically one evil thing has trapped another evil thing. Have they been fighting? Does Hades intend to use this vine in his own vile plans? Dare I say that this is a little bit more interesting than anything that happens in the Hercules movie? (And a sizable chunk of the audience spits out its popcorn and stalks away (like I have an audience).) Come on, it’s not that good a film. I can’t even remember if it’s got a song in it or not. Yes, that could well be a ‘me’ problem, I have to accept that possibility.

  As a card to play, it looks pretty solid. No major abilities and a bit costly, but the stats are good. I think I like this one.

Tod: Clever Fox – I really don’t know how I’ve missed the ‘Vine’ theme in so many of these cards. No joke, I’ve got a couple of hundred from this set knocking about, and it’s only through this process that I’m taking it in properly. I may need some kind of checks. Is it my eyes? My disposition? My brain? Please, not the brain. I haven’t really got much else going for me.

  This one’s suitably heroic for Tod. I enjoy the fact that he’s proud in victory, despite the fact that he’s vastly outnumbered, and if we played this scenario out realistically then he would be shredded by the enemy. Just sayin’. Composition is a little bit basic, so it won’t linger for long in the remains of my brain.

  What were we talking about? (Ha ha.)

Meilin Lee: Lead Vocalist – Alright, I’ve got some research to do. Watching movies isn’t exactly hard research though. That’s fun research! I’ve said research a lot. Oh God, the word is losing its meaning… So, (ahem), obviously I don’t know who this is, but I’ve got a sneaking suspicion which film they are from… yes, Turning Red. Apparently, when she feels a strong emotion, Meilin turns into a giant red panda. Who wouldn’t, right? And what a brilliant animal to turn into. There’s a wildlife park in the Lake District, and they’ve got a couple of red pandas, and I stood watching them for about half an hour in the miserable drizzly rain. I couldn’t believe they were real, they were like cartoons, and yet here we are, talking about a big one in a cartoon! Life and its circles…

  The character sounds amazing, the card itself is a little flat, artwork looks like it could come from any afternoon cartoon, not a major motion picture. Oh well. The fact that the character requires Sing Together before she can sing a song is a fun idea and an interesting way to implement the notion that she is part of a band, although I wonder if this would be a pain to use during actual play.

  The Song mechanic, however, is definitely a fun one, and one I don’t use often when playing. The songs are such a big part of what makes Disney that I think I’m doing the game a disservice by not using them.

Rapunzel: Escaping The Tower – Rapunzel always felt like an action hero, didn’t she? At least the Disney movie version she does. She’s also surprisingly nimble, given how much hair she’s got to carry around. I mean, all that hair is quite the weight to drag you down. When I go to the barbers once every couple of months and have the clippers run across my head, it feels like someone just removed an iron helmet, so Rapunzel must have a neck of steel.

  This is getting away from me. This is a suitably action-y card for an action-y character, and I’m here for it (that’s the cool thing to say now, right? What do you mean, it stopped being cool years ago?). The vines are here again, and the chosen angle makes this image dynamic, as if it’s a still frame from a Rapunzel sequel we haven’t seen yet.

  And apparently this is a Super Rare, which is nice. I still have to refer to a Google image search to figure out what the rarity symbols mean. I’ve done this hundreds of times now. Why does nothing stick any more? Why must my brain fail me…

The Horned King: Merciless Master – Time for a fact. The Black Cauldron is Disney’s best film. It is. Or maybe I feel that way because of the huge effect it had on me as a kid in the cinema. I was the only one in my class (probably the entire year) with the sticker book. That movie was so bleak and scary. Then it basically vanished. You couldn’t see it if you wanted to. Now, you’re going to say ‘Actually it was released on VHS, so you could have rented or bought it,’ and I’ll say, ‘True, but no-one had or saw a copy where I lived, so nur-nur’. This Lorcana card makes me happy, and reminds me of when films were an event. It’s not such a big deal when a cinema release can be on your own 65” screen a month later with a button-click.

  In the intervening years I have learned that Disney curbed back some of the stronger horror elements. Oh yeah, it was even worse than what’s on screen – some unfinished scenes are available on YouTube somewhere to give you an idea of the nightmares you could have had.

Hundred Acre Wood: Hunny Campsite – Well, looky here! A foil Epic!I’ll admit, I got briefly excited that I’d landed a decent treasure here, but a moment of research reveals it’s not worth that much. Don’t matter. I love it anyway.

  This is a really nice card, especially in this foil version (don’t think the photo brings out the foiliness very well, but you’ve got an imagination, you can see the rainbows shifting across its surface). I like that this is a borderless version and the art has more room to breathe. The campsite feels a little more expansive, like we’re really camping out in the open under the beautiful stars. And look at the swooping vines dominating the skyline! That impending doom adds a touch of menace to the image

  This is the true magic of Disney. We’ve all got a few of their movies or shows that instantly transport us somewhere, and the Hundred Acre Wood transports me to a strange place, a combination of their beautifully animated Winnie the Pooh movies, and to sitting on my mother’s knee as I read ‘Now We Are Six’ out loud to her, and both of these are happy places and I feel no need to disentangle them.

Well, there you go. We got through it, and hopefully we found a deeper appreciation for the common people… I mean, common cards. There is so much incredible art and design right the way through Lorcana, and the artists clearly approach every commission with deep love for the subject. I’ve got too many cards just lying around, unloved, abandoned. And I’ve got no excuse, I’ve got portfolios waiting to be filled. I think I’ll set out a bit of time this week, get organised, get those cards where they belong… and enjoy them as I go.

I think that process was entirely satisfactory. Who needs some stunning Enchanted card to have a good time? Not us, we’re enlightened souls, especially after slowing down our Lorcana.

  But let’s open one more pack, eh? Just one more.